What the F did I do?!

Ya know that urge to do EVERYTHING? Do you get little spurts of energy thinking 'Hmm, I should move the living room around today!' Do you break those huge tasks down into bite sized pieces to figure out what comes first? I mean, logically, smart planners would use a process to set goals and then crush them, right? Yeah, not me.

I am a GOOD business coach. I have all kinds of helpful tips and tricks that new business owners don't always think about, that can help make life easier IMMEDIATELY, rather than stumbling through the first year without any idea what needs to be done. I've helped lots of friends start their businesses and given them ideas to help streamline the chaos. I can help you become more profitable, pay off debt, meet financial goals and all kinds of cool stuff. But do ya think I follow all these steps myself? Nope... Or definitely not ALL the time...Does that make me a fraud? Hmmmm. Maybe? I dunno...

So... if you hadn't guessed, I tend to tackle everything altogether, at the same time, to get the awful parts over faster. I jump in with both feet and no life vest. I know. It's not the smartest way. It's overwhelming. Painful. They say that moving, buying a home, getting married, starting a new job, or having a baby are the top most stressful life events we face. Who is 'They'? I don't even know lol. But years ago, I did FOUR of those within 6 months. I moved across the country, bought a house, changed jobs and got married. And now, I tackled TWO in the last two weeks in August. This time I moved across town and got a new job. But it felt like more than two big changes...

On August 15, my daughter started the 4th grade. Back to school time is always bittersweet for me. But this year, I started a new, full time job, the same day she went back to school! The first time I've worked for someone other than myself, full time, since 2016... And did I mention this particular change was going to flip our schedule upside down and change pretty much the flow of everything we do in a day? I'd no longer be able to pick my daughter up after school. I'd be commuting to an in-person job rather than working from home. Her dad would now be the after-school-picker-upper. And on his nights with her, I wouldn't see her at all! This alone knocked both of us off our feet. Not literally, of course. But my daughter and I had a TON of change happening that we had to process somehow. I had been working a part time job that I loved, 2 days every week. That regular schedule had to change as well. Now I'd be coming in to do my work when my schedule allowed, which hasn't been very much!

And to add to the excitement, I decided we'd go ahead and move to a new apartment rather than waiting until later in September! I'd been hunting for a new place and found one I love. But there was a catch lol. In order to get a free month of rent, I had to move in on August 25... So of course, I jumped on that task. For the past two weeks, my schedule has been: take my daughter to school, go to work, pick my daughter up from her dad's house, go home and pack. On mornings I didn't have my kiddo, I would be up at 5am packing. Then I'd get to work and do the rest of the things. I scheduled movers to help me get the big stuff moved. After the big stuff was moved, I still had a lot of stuff the movers didn't take, from my old place, as well as a storage space to empty. I must say, I didn't have the best team of movers. They did the bare minimum and bitched about it the entire time. But I digress.

The week after I 'technically' moved us to the new place, I was up early in the mornings either unpacking at the new place or loading more stuff into my car from the old place, all before going to work at 8am. After work, I'd hit the storage space and take a carload of that stuff across town. Then another curveball: My daughter got Covid... Don't worry; she's fine. But she had to quarantine at her dad's house for 5 days. It was heartbreaking for me to be separated from her and not being able to hold her while she was sick. But working around people everyday made me less able to stay home and care for her, especially after only a week on the job! I made more trips to move stuff, everyday and through Labor Day weekend. I told myself I'd rest, but I didn't. And finally I got to a place where the new apartment is mostly unpacked and settled, the storage space is cleaned out and the old apartment has minimal stuff left there. Did I mention we have pets? This picture is the trip when I brought the living creatures to the new place. 2 Gerbils in the Ugg box and a beta in the big water bottle. Don't judge me; I thought the water bottle was genius.

To say I was tired is the understatement of a lifetime. But I feel like a super hero having done everything in such a short time and not losing my damn mind. I was literally burning the candle at both ends. Learning a new job. Moving to a new place.

I'm grateful I had the energy and mental capacity to do it.

I'm grateful I had the resources to hire help.

I'm grateful that my new employer is flexible and allowed me to take a Friday off to move, even not having any PTO built up yet.

I am SO. FREAKING. BLESSED.

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#Goals

Do you make goals every year? How about a Vision Board? I will say, I do sit down every year, at the end of the year, and think about what I want to create in my life the next year. I love the process. I'll share one of my end of the year rituals in a separate post. It's very special to me.

Ya know what my goals were for this year? I had 3 big goals:

1. To find a new place to live (preferably buy) that was bigger and had a garage. Cuz #HailDamage is a thing here in Colorado.

2. To increase my monthly income to a certain number, which will remain unpublished ;).

3. To find love. That perfect romance. A true life partner.

Did you know August is a time of Harvest? Spiritually, we harvest what we've been working so hard for all year, in August. It's the changing of seasons. It's realizing the fruits of our labor. And I Harvested the CRAP out of August. Our new apartment is 500 square feet larger than our last place. It has an extra bedroom, for my healing/crafting/office space. AND... It has a BIG, 2-car garage! No more shoveling the car out in the freezing cold for this girl! Yes, it's still a rental. But it's ours for 12 months.

The new job I just accepted? Guess what the income is? It's EXACTLY the amount of my monthly income goal. Coincidence? Definitely not.

As for love, I didn't find my perfect partner this year. I thought I would. I thought I'd found him. But instead, I found ME. And yes, I'm crying a little as I type this. I found myself! I finally love myself exactly where I am in my life. Do you know how HUGE that is?! That's not to say I don't want or won't find that perfect match for love. But this was definitely what I needed to find first. I have tortured myself for as long as I can remember, trying to be better, do better, be more to my friends and family, be the perfect mom, conquer the business world. All. The. Things. I've had eating disorders spawned from bullies making fat jokes about me as early as 7 or 8 years old. I remember eating a popsicle for lunch one day because it had 50 calories rather than 300 I'd eat in a sandwich. I have not been very nice to myself. And that is over. I've said the words a million-gazillion times. 'I love me.' 'I'm worthy of love.' 'I deserve to be treated well.' But until you feel the shift and really believe it in your soul, it means nothing. And I am here to tell ya, I feel it in my BONES. I have never been happier in my life than I am at this moment. I love my life. I'm content by myself, in silence, and will actively love on my friends and family. I will also honor boundaries to protect myself against people who don't deserve to be in my life. I will bless and release with love, those who show me betrayal, dishonesty or anything that makes me dread interacting with them. No one needs that kind of crap in their lives.

So here's what I want to challenge you to consider: What makes you happy in your life? Are there people you dread interacting with? What one thing can you change in your daily routine to reduce your stress?

Figure out what you're passionate about and do THAT. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who consistently bring you down. Find your Joy. And grab onto that with all your strength! Happy people bring more happiness into their lives. It sounds cliche but it's so true.

Please feel free to leave me comments and subscribe so we can keep in touch. Eventually I'll figure Loom out and send videos rather than typing. If you love crystals, reiki, emotional healing and other bougie spiritual stuff, stick around. I've got classes going every month at Discover Your Spiritual Gifts and would love to meet you IRL ;).

Till next time, friends!

xoxo

Carrie